Shawn - 19May - 29May

our darling...

So disappointed with MYSELF!!!

I m so disappointed with myself..

Tat day when I reach home my mil told me shawn bottle treat looks a bit out of shape.. so I quickly went to have a look at it.. OMG!! Thk I always sterilliz it after each use.. n cos it to expand bigger.. touch on it.. is stinky  n thk the rubber has melt le… Y I didn notice it.. wat a mummy I m.. so careless.. I was worri will the last few days using it to drink cos anything harmful to shawn… y didn I notice it earlier…

Now I need my mil to tell me wats shawn daily routine le.. wat time he drink.. how long he can play.. n when he need to sleep.. My mil can tell by looking at Shawn wat he needs.. n as a mummy.. I m so lousy.. I need more time to spend with Shawn.. but how???

I miss those days I was on maternity leave.. when I can b with shawn 24hrs every day..

Now whenever shawn know I m at home.. he refuse take nap .. even on wkend.. when I put him into yao lan.. he will cry to get out.. I carry him.. he yawn.. can tell he is tired le.. but he jus wan to b with me.. thk he oso felt tat I didn spend enough time with him ba..

Every evening.. when I reach home.. at ard 6pm.. I need to quickly pack the express milk into the freezer then take out the next day supply n put into lower compartment.. then quickly take a shower.. n soon shawn will wake up for milk.. I feed him.. n let him sit at the rocking chair to rest while I eat my dinner.. will try to put him into yao lan to slp a while.. use to b successful de… but recently.. he refuse to a slp le.. he will yawn  while I carry him.. yawn n yawn.. yet jus dun wana slp.. yty was waiting for daddy to come home.. cos daddy do ot.. upon he come back.. shawn cry for milk.. then go to sleep.. very fast de lol… poor boy.. if only we can have more time for him..

Its Friday !!!!

Ho!! HO!! Ho!!... it is Friday le.. so glad.. at least wkend coming.. n I can rest at home.. provided Shawn guai guai de.. drink milk liao sleep la.. Hubby need to work OT to earn more $$ lol.. lots of expenses coming up la.. hai.. or mayb he is earnin extra $$ to give me a surprise on our first year annevrsivery.. hehe… since I got my N82 phone for giving birth to Shawn… wat will I get this time leh… kekeke.. (*Dreaming*)

These few nite.. Shawn didn reali demand for milk as much as b4 le.. but he still keep stretching here n there.. n make ‘Er er’ noise.. which will wake me up to look at him.. like on stand by.. anytime he start crying.. I will pop in my nipple to feed him… hahaha.. I feel like moo moo cow lol..

Shawn dun cry so much now.. he only will make noise to signal wat he wan now.. n his timing is quite stable liao.. so more or less we know wat he expect by lookin at the time now.. he will drink milk.. til he let go himself when I latch him on.. then we will play/talk to him for abt 30min-1 hr… by then when he start makin noise.. we will know he is tired.. wana slp le.. will put him into yao lan.. let him slp til next feedin time.. when ever we hear him poo.. we will change him when he is awake.. he seldom cry for change le..

Seem like mayb Shawn demand is increasing soon..cos I notice my milk supply has increase le.. since supply = demand… jus hope I can carry on to meet his demand.. reali dun like the idea of givin up to FM lol..

Next wk I m goin outauditin again.. this time.. dun thk I can find a good place to express le.. mayb will rush down to bugis junction during lunch time to express once.. n I might need to skip my 4pm session le.. but will I feel engore?? Wonder any other solution hor… will c how then lol..

1st Anniversary

Start:

Jun 30, '08

Being Mrs Yap for a yr le.. :)

2nd Vacc (6in1)

Start:

Jun 27, '08 1:45p

@The Kidz Clinic by Dr Lillian Lim

Our Darling Shawn

Shawn @ 2mth old le.. startin to smile when we play with him.. make err err noise rather then cry now.. look forward to go home c him everyday

Mummy's tots

Ever since i myself bcome mummy le.. i starts to understand how my mummy feel le.. esp when things happen.. i will stand in her shoe to look at problems.. i understand how she feel last time when i talk back.. how hurt she can b.. i understand y tat mummy willin to use her body to protect her child when earthquake happen..how she is willing to give up her life jus for a tiny child of hers... tats how wei da a mummy can b...

Is my second wk back to work.. i was out auditing at client place this wk again.. @ boon keng.. ind area.. toliet was yuck!!... lucky i have a good workin partner... n we were given the meetin room to do our work.. so i jus express bm in there.. using nursing wrap to cover myself.. tough being a total breast feeding mother.. seeing Shawn growin well daily is the motivation to keep me goin..

Had bf at amk yty then went to kidzloft warehse sale.. hoping to get some cheap stuffs.. i spend $33 there.. heng we ride there .. so we r restricted to buy big items.. else thk i might get tat bumbo seat le.. cos only $49.. tot tats cheap... but come to thk.. dun thk i reali need tat hor..

Rush home to bath.. then went tpy to doin facial with hubby.. so long didn 'clean' my face le.. feel so relax.. after tat..we went shop shop ard tpy.. bought myself a pants n two tops.. haven got myself anything for so long.. now everythin i wana spend on ..i will first think of bb.. to prevent myself over spending le..

Went back Fernvale to bring Shawn over to my mother place for dinner... My mummy make a yao lan for Shawn to sleep in... cos Shawn was so fussy the last two wkend there.. got no yao lan to make him slp.. end up rushin home each time... this round.. we get to enjoy our dinner while he slp in the yao lan.. so peaceful..(kekeke)...

The first 'proper' family photo we took since shawn was born... taken my Yeen Teen.. my di di gf..

Look at my eyes... O my!! can imagine how many long sleepless nite i have been thro le lol..

 

Ah shawn shawn :)

He is growing daily.. so much different from day 1..

My 1st Mother's day

This is my first mother's day.. took pic with my son.. When will he b celebrating this day with me???

Shawn @ 2 mth old

only took two pic on his 2nd mth..

I survive for my first wk back to work ...

Oh me!! i survive!! hehehe...

My "energy pack" i store during my maternity leave has been use up le.. in jus one wk.. when it come to Fri.. i was so tired.. Feel like wana faint when i close my eyes to rest at work.. like whole nite didn sleep..

Shawn nite feedin time is in a mess le.. he can jus wake up anytime n make noise.. he knows is nite nite time.. wont cry as loud as day time.. but he jus keep making noise.. thk he got wind in his stomach... having hard time passing out the wind... will cry when forcing... but stop crying once fart...

i was at client ofc since wed.. tat makes pumpin even more difficult.. i need to do it in the toliet.. n problem is..theres only 1 ladies... ppl start waitin outside when i got out.. so pai say.. somemore is a pregnant lady.. she knew i m pumpin inside.. n got curious.. asked me lots of ques on bf..

i schedule my pumpin 3 time daily... since i leave home later for the wk.. i did my 1st session at home.. the follow by lunch time.. n 4pm time.. my ss was decreasing everyday since day 1 of work.. guess i reali need more rest to boost my ss ba..

hopin wkend to come n i can rest.. but.. hai my hubby disappoint me again.. so sad..

he told me he wana go fishing on sat.. i was like.. huh!! told u sld look after shawn n let me catch some slp.. i insist he sldnt go.. reason it out with him.. remindin him he daddy of Shawn le.. sld do his part.. i let his slp everynite.. he nvr once need to wake up to help n look after shawn lol.. yet he is taking me for granted le.. so sad.. hope my reasoning can get into his mind n he know wat he need to do lol...

 

Recent Shawn

First Day @ work

Yty was me first day back to work. Ride to work as usual. CTE still as jam as b4 but I still manage to reach within half an hr. My usual carpark only allow occupant to park now hence I went to park at my office building. Need to pay parkin fee now.

 

Woke up at 6am tot of feeding bb. But he was so sleepy. I keep ticker him, turn him abt. But he jus keep his eyes close. Luckly I manage to feed him for awhile b4 leavin him to work. Left home at 7.20am n reach ofc at 7.45am.

 

First day at work, was excited sharing with my boss n fren abt my little Shawn. But come to expressing bm. Wasn’t as easy as I tot lol.. I told my boss I need to express milk few time during the ofc hr. She was very encouraging. But I reali feel so pai say to go to the meetin room to pump lol. Some more must prepare this n tat. … get pump from freezer, prepare milk bag, get adaptor ready, tissue…etc etc.. then I still bring my working file into the room to do. Cant jus sit there n pump n do nothing lol.. I feel bad.. Lucky I have reali good bosses…

 

Left ofc at 5.35pm n reach home at 6.05pm.. CTE still as jam. Heng I m riding n not driving.

 

Saw mil feedin bb the moment I step into the hse. She was like trying to explain. Cos I told her wait for me to come back for the 6pm feeding. She say bb was crying n crying. Cant wait le.. hehehe.. can c she was very tired le. She say bb keep crying, hardly slp lol.

 

I quickly bring bb to the room n feed him. Tell him not to cry le. Dun let mummy see him crying n crying after long day at work. Reali miss him so much today.

 

After dinner, I bring bb to room to feed n coax him to slp le. He reali fall aslp very fast. So m i. I m oso very tired tdy.

 

Slp early oso mean waking up at odd hr in the nite lol. He woke up at 11.45pm, 2am, 3.45am… then 6am.. I got to wake him up to feed b4 I go for work. Wonder how long can I tahan this kind of tiring chore. For Shawn, I will sure able to endure it.

 

To Shawn: Mummy must go work to earn more $$ to give u better life. Cant jus left the burden to daddy. Daddy is oso very stress over work le. U must guai guai n listen to grandy. B good boy at home. Mummy will rush home after work everyday to nurse u k. Daddy & Mummy LOVES Shawn.

 

Photo taken b4 i left for work on 5/5/08

Labour Day

Its a public holiday today. In the pass, b4 Shawn is born, i guess we ( Hubby n I) might spend tdy fishin at some wulu place ba. But now, i cant leave shawn at home for too long le. I will miss him. N i cant jus let mil look after him while i go out n play lol.

So this mornin we only went out for breakfast at AMK, then come back home with in 2 hr. Fast rite. Eat n go back. Life is nvr so much freedom like b4 le.

Hubby planned to bring me out shoppin tml. He took a day leave to enjoy the long wkend. I suggested to go Expo for the MPH n Metro sales. Hope i can get something cheap there lol. Get some flashcard for Shawn or even storybook to read to him now. He get so bored of those toy handing at the cot. Tats the only toy he can watch them goin round n round daily. Sld get him something more interesting ba. Feel so guilty to keep puting him into the yao lan n make him sleep after every feed. Wonder m i doin the rite thing lol. Sldnt he have some fun time now?? at least tok tok time or even play time.. only eat n sleep ah???

Next mon i m goin back to work le.. i will surely miss my Shawn. These few nite shawn got up every 2 hr for feeding. He wasnt like this in the pass de. He use to wake up at 1am, 3/4am n 6am.. but eg last nite, he woke up at 12am, 2am, 4am n 6am.. i was like goin crazy last nite lol.. feel so giddy at 6am.. quickly took a bottle of chicken Essenes in the mornin.. i cant afford to get sick de.. Hope he will get back to his usual timing by mon n dun give me a hard time le..